Welcome to Season 3 of According to Doyle. If you are just joining us, feel free to read the About This Project page for information about what else I’ve ranked (and am going to rank) here as well as statements about hubris and my cat. All songs here are ranked based on the guiding principle of “do I like each song more than the last song?” No science was harmed (or employed) in the creation of these lists. I welcome editing feedback because Doyle brain too fast for Doyle fingers.
So, today I learned that “Turf Accountant Daddy” – while not listed on the Wikipedia page of singles by the Pretenders – is listed as a single on the Wikipedia page for the album Hate for Sale. Thus, we are now at 56 singles. Also thus, I put the Junior Vasquez remixes of the single “Time” at 51 in the prior section of this list. Just keeping you up to date.
50. Where Has Everybody Gone?
First Single from the soundtrack to the film The Living Daylights (1987), released as a single in 1987
Waaa Waaa WAAAAAA go the horns. “Where Has Everybody Gone” is a second single from soundtrack to the James Bond flick The Living Daylights (the first was “If There Was a Man” at #53). This definitely sounds a bunch more like a Bond film tune to me (especially the aforementioned horns) and is apparently a song one of the villains listens to on his Walkman (this was 1987, after all). It’s not especially an essential addition to your Pretenders music playlist, but it’s a good time. All the tracks from here on out are at least pretty decent.
49. 2,000 Miles
Secondish Single from Learning to Crawl (1984), released as a single in 1983
“Secondish” because “Back on the Chain Gang” and “My City Was Gone” (both coming up) were kind of a Double A side. They were certainly treated that way on U.S. rock radio.
Aw, man, I know. Lots of people LOVE this song. It’s a well-loved Christmas tune. The lyrics are about missing somebody at Christmastime and Hynde has stated that this is specifically about missing the late Pretenders guitarist, James Honeyman-Scott. I’m going to be singing his praises a whole bunch in the next set of entries, and I want to say right here that he’s on my short list of “musicians who died way, way too soon.” The world would be an infinitely better place if there had been more songs written by Honeyman-Scott, not to mention more guitar work by him. I do like the fade in on this song and new Pretenders guitarist Robbie McIntosh does some lovely work here. I don’t know – I was put off by the song when it came out in 1983 (I was like 15) and I’ve never quite warmed up to it. I can’t tell anymore whether it’s my honest reaction to the song or whether its left-over teenage snobbery (I wanted more rockin’ tunes from The Pretenders and didn’t know a thing about the tragedies the band had been through). I’ll say this – I don’t turn the channel when this comes on in December and that in and of itself is high praise from me for any Christmas adjacent song.
48. You Know Who Your Friends Are
First Single from Loose Screw (2003), Released as a single in 2003
Four singles in total were released from Loose Screw (side note – I was in an improv group named Loose Screws for like 17 years and obviously feel like fantasize that Chrissie Hynde named this album in my honor). I’ve placed all four of them in the lower half of this list. 2003 was during my “musical dark ages” (a decade or so between the periods where I intensely followed music) and I missed this record when it came out. My entire experience of Loose Screw comes from trying to write about their singles, so that’s perhaps not the best way to experience a group of songs. Anyhow, I like the lyrics for “You Know Who Your Friends Are” – Hynde contrasts the chorus (where she stresses that friends help you go far) with the verses (where the song’s subject’s friends are literally holding them in place until they die) in a way I find appealing. Her vocal is also typically excellent. The song itself is a little bland, but I can live with that if you can. CAN YOU?
47. Thin Line Between Love and Hate
Seventh Single from Learning to Crawl (1984), Released as a single in 1984
This is a cover of a 1971 track by The Persuaders (look how awesome they look in this appearance on Soul Train) and an excellent vocal showcase for Hynde. Indeed, the lyrics are a great match for Chrissie Hynde – so much so that I didn’t realize this was a cover for over a decade. Maestro pop rock keyboardist and lead vocalist (for Ace, Mike and the Mechanics and Squeeze) provides, well, keyboards and backing vocals in this case – this contribution alongside a fantastic vocal interpretation by Chrissie Hynde make this is a truly compelling cover. I cannot justify putting it this low on this list, but since this is about feelings and not about facts, well, #47.
46. My Baby
Third single from Get Close (1986), released as a single in 1987
Aw, man, this one is tough. On the one hand, I love that Hynde wrote a whole song about how much she loves her baby. Many critics agree that “My Baby” one of the best singles on Get Close. On the other hand, she sings “Like walking on stage” and there’s an applause sound effect and suddenly the music feels like a beer commercial. Friends, this is what producers and record companies thought we wanted music to sound like in the late 80’s. Say what you will about AI slop music, the industry was doing its best to homogenize music without AI, well, since always, but in the 80’s they really thought we wanted drums to sound like electric flatulence. Honestly, in 1987, I would have preferred the sound of actual organic baby flatulence. Anyhow, strong lyric, delightful vocal performance (as per usual) and it’s kind of terrific live.
45. Hold A Candle to This
Second Single from Packed! (1990), Release as a single in 1990
All evidence points to the fact that Packed! existed and was released in 1990. So, I was a fan of The Pretenders and I was a college radio DJ at KTUH in Honolulu in 1990. I played songs from Get Close on WRBC in 1986 and I played songs from Last of the Intendents in 1994 on KTUH. I therefor ask, “how did I not know Packed! existed until like 2020 when I initially tried to rank The Pretenders’ singles?” Doing some simple math on my computer’s calculator app, I see that it took me 30 years to even discover this record was a thing. Is this some sort of Mandela Effect? Did I arrive here from the Berenstein reality, where this album legitimately never existed? Or, perhaps more sinisterly, did nobody send KTUH a promo copy of Packed!? I can no longer say with any certainty. Anyhow, Packed! exists, “Hold a Candle To This” is a song (with lyrics) from that album. You now must carry this knowledge, too. Fortunately, it’s pretty catchy knowledge.
44. You Can’t Hurt A Fool
Second Single from Hate for Sale (2020), Released as a single in 2020
So first, the lyrics of “You Can’t Hurt a Fool” are a masterclass in irony. On cursory listen, it comes across as Hynde criticizing a foolish person. In actuality, it’s more of a character portrait (a celebration? A self-portrait?) of a person who defies the rules of society and – while maybe coming across as naive or immature – is therefore somewhat protected from criticism or hate. Basically, she’s armored up. There’s some Stax record soul influence to the composition that is very appealing. My one caveat is that the rhyme “You can’t hurt a fool/because genuine fools/don’t play by the rules” kind of irks me. Again, these lists are just me figuring out what I like and what I don’t like, and this song could easily bound into the top twenty if that one line stops bothering me.
43. Day After Day
Thirdish single from Pretenders II (1981), Released as a single in 1981
Thirdish because “Talk of the Town” and “Message of Love” (both coming up) were released before the album as stand-alone singles but were then added to Pretenders II. Thus, “Day After Day” is also the firstish single from that album.
The first two Pretenders albums (Pretenders and Pretenders II) are in a class by themselves. Their debut album is one that I can listen to the whole way through again and again. Their sophomore album is also excellent even though some tracks sound a little too close to songs on the first. What can you do? There’s so much pressure on new bands with successful debut albums to produce a follow-up (I oft repeat the saying about how bands have their whole lives to write their first album and six months to write their second) that a quality difference is inevitable.
That said, the first to records were recorded with the original line-up of Chrissie Hynde on lead vocals and rhythm guitar, the unparallelled James Honeyman-Scott on lead guitar and keyboards, Pete Farndon on bass, and the other longest-tenured member of the group, Martin Chambers on drums. They sound amazing on both records. I’m amazed at the sheer willpower Hynde must have had to keep the band going after losing her song writing partner, Honeyman-Scott, and original bassist Farndon to drugs!
“Day after Day” is a killer album track with a great guitar hook. You will rock out listening to it. Then it is gone. Like every other single from those first two albums I can sing immediately from memory, but this one always turns into “The Phone Call” from the first album in my head. When I hear the title, I start to sing the chorus from “Mystery Achievement” in my head (“But every day, oh…”) even though that song doesn’t sound much like this at all. Basically, I dig it but I wouldn’t include it on a mix tape. It belongs in its natural environment.
42. Room Full of Mirrors
Fourth Single from Get Close (1986), Released as a single in 1987
Cover of a song originally by Jimi Hendrix.
The ultimate version of “Room Full of Mirrors” would be one with Hynde’s vocal and Hendrix’s guitar and arrangement. I’m not a huge fan of the mid-80’s production here, but wow Hynde does an amazing vocal interpretation.
41. 977
Third single from Last of the Independents (1994), Released as a single in 1994
On Last of the Independents, Hynde collaborated on a couple of songs with song writing powerhouses Billy Steinberg and Tom Kelly. “977” was one of those collaborations. Setting the lyrics aside for the moment, it’s a beautifully written and composed song with a 1960’s vibe to it. The song seems to be about domestic violence from the victim’s perspective (there’s apparently some argument that it has a BDSM theme, but I don’t buy that). The victim, in this case, is justifying the violence (and her abuser’s tears) as evidence of his love (I am reminded of the all-time creepy “He Hit Me and It Felt Like a Kiss” by The Crystals which lacks the sense of irony in Hynde’s lyric). My read on the song is that Hynde recognizes that some victims of abuse perform mental gymnastics to justify how they’re treated and she’s presenting this in a way that invites us to both understand the victim, but also hopefully be able to better recognize when a victim we actually know is minimizing their abuse. I am curious about your take on this one. #41 because this isn’t exactly a lyric you enjoy listening to, but it is a sobering and worthwhile (and I believe ultimately anti-abuse) message.
Coming Soon: Some covers, some soundtrack songs, etc.
The Pretender’s Singles Ranked – 51-56 – 41-50 – 31-40 – 21-30 – 11-20 – 1-10
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