I have been ignoring swaths – swaths! – of baseball history and tradition for the sake of snark in my other entries on caps so far. I offer this observation as a disclaimer. These lists – like my music lists – are more about my prejudices, misconceptions and baggage than anything else. Aren’t all written things that offer an opinion?
The National League West features two teams that were stolen from New York City and three “in my lifetime” expansion teams, two of which I remember, uh, expanding. This is to say, 50 years ago three of these teams didn’t exist. 80 years ago, none of these teams existed on the west coast. 200 years ago, there was no baseball. Everything is relative, I guess.
Let’s go to the play by play…
5. Arizona Diamondbacks
First off, I am surprised at how much fun I had recreating the Arizona logo on MS Paint. The lines are thick, clean and straight and I even enjoyed zooming in to the max to try and create that fading diamond background (though I gave up and made them little lines. In fact, of the corporate designed logos we’ll be looking at, this is my favorite. It’s maybe my favorite in this division and I’d proudly wear this hat. I’ve even been to Arizona, so I’d only be cheating slightly if I went to Lids and bought it right now. However, there are two things that knock it down to fifth place. The first is it doesn’t seem especially “baseballish.” This A looks like it should be the symbol on a sign at a gas station chain. If it were, it would be my favorite corporate gas station logo. I like it that much. The other sin is much, much more significant.
To wit, look at this.
That is the alternate hat logo. It is a venomous snake – probably a diamondback, but who cares? – injecting venom right into a baseball. That is probably not a legal thing to do to a baseball during major league play, but it is the coolest thing any mascot on any MLB team does. They could wear that hat every single day forever and I would cheer for them – maybe not to win, but I would cheer for the hat. Basically, they have the option to make this the only hat they ever wear and they (they being some anonymous marketing committee no doubt) choose to use the slick corporate design most of the time instead. I want to follow them around shouting “shame.”
They. Could. Be. Wearing. A. Snake.
4 Colorado Rockies
I thought I’d messed up the foot of the C when I drew this on MS Paint, but no, it really is at a jaunty little angle. Like it got drunk on Crown Royal, which is what I think of when I see this logo. Or RC Cola, if the logo got drunk (on Crown Royal) and couldn’t remember if it was RC or CR cola. And got its colors mixed up. OK I’m stretching a little here. Peeling away several levels of snark, there’s no need to include the “R” here at all (do as The Proclaimers suggest). It’s ok to include multiple city initials in your monogram or to use some variation on your team’s name in the monogram, but as near as I can tell, the Rockies are the only team to use both their location and name in the monogram. I’m old and cranky and don’t like it. I recognize that purple is one of their team colors, but I don’t care for the little purple plates on this. Yes, I see that purple on black would not quite work from a distance, but the 25th anniversary silver on black logo from last season is really pretty classy and I propose they would be well served to make that their permanent logo, even if they keep the “R.” Or maybe they can keep the “R” and ditch the “C.”
3. San Diego Padres
The Padres I grew up with had this baffling brown and yellow uniform that made me think all baseball players should look a little like mimes. In fact, as a single digit child, I invented a whole pile of new baseball teams with uniforms with an even more baffling array of colors. Thank you, Padres and Astros for keeping it weird. The positive thing about their 70’s cap logo was that it was distinct – nobody had (nor, frankly, wanted) their logo. That was its beauty. The current logo makes a play at being a little more baseballish, but it is a little too bland. They’ve taken a little bit of L.A.’s color scheme and inserted a stylized SD which is just a little different from their classic SD – note the little break in the D. While this makes it easier to draw with a single line, it also raises the question “did ‘San’ break ‘Diego?'” Maybe they broke the D so it wouldn’t seem so bland. The Padres are the only sports franchise in San Diego so maybe they could spend a little cash making a more interesting logo. I understand there are a lot of creative types they could hire just north in San Francisco.
2. San Francisco Giants
When San Francisco cruelly stole the Giants from New York, they took the orange-on-brown color scheme with them. The “SF,” of course, was new and has remained virtually unchanged since 1958. Now, I just bought an SF baseball hat when I visited that terrific city a few weeks ago and I wear it proudly (though just today – and I’m not making this up – a guy saw me wearing it and said “the Giants aren’t doing so good this season” to which I replied “that’s the truth” – nothing brings sports fans together quite like misery). Anyhow, I’ve always felt the colors are ugly, but they are a basebally kind of ugly. The font is questionable, but it’s a basebally kind of questionable. I wonder about what the small horizontal line in the F might be, but the S seems to like it, so who am I to judge? You know what else SF stands for? Superfreak. Fly your flag, Giants. I’ve got your back.
1. Los Angeles Dodgers
The Dodgers were cruelly stolen from Brooklyn around the same time mercenaries team-napped the Giants. They left behind an absolutely ridiculous looking “B” but took the team colors with them. Like most transplants from New York to L.A., they got a new slick look when they arrived but, unlike most humans who transform when they reach L.A., the Dodgers got it right the first time. As with the Giants, this logo has been virtually unchaned since 1958. It’s simple, clean and very baseballish. The colors are wicked simple – none of this azure and salmon on black nonsense. I also appreciate that it looks like the “A” might be sitting on the lap of the “L,” like maybe the L is a porch swing or a ski lift chair. Maybe the serif on the A represent skis. The A is going on a ski holiday. How can you not love a monogram that is sending one of its letters on a mountain adventure? I don’t have a whole lot of love for the Dodgers (I have an unlimited supply of love for Tommy Lasorda which I can’t entirely explain, so please don’t tell me anything awful about him) but I really do love their hat and wear mine all the time. Well, when they’re losing.
Coming Soon – American League East
MLB Hats Ranked – NL East – NL Central – NL West – AL East – AL Central – AL West – MLB 30
I endorse this ranking….on the basis of teams as well as logos 🙂